Throughout phases of my adult life I’ve found myself sleeping my life away. No I’m not talking the every once in awhile 10 hour “nap.” I’m talking sleeping for days on end. I would go to sleep and wake up 2 and a half days later wondering what day it was. If it was morning or night and that’s why it was dark outside, I’d have no idea.
Sleeping had become a way for me to avoid my life. I felt that I didn’t want to be alive, that death would be too much, but sleeping my life away would be perfect. I would sleep all morning, day, and into the evening when I would have to take sleeping pills to fall back asleep.
When there was a day I had to get through, awake, it was so difficult. I felt sluggish all the time, exhausted. It got to the point where it seemed like I was never getting enough sleep. I just had to sleep more.. and more… and then some more. I could never get enough sleep. My energy was always low. If I tried to stay awake, I couldn’t, I had become so tired all the time that I thought the only thing I could do was sleep it off.
I was in a hole I could not get out of or so it seemed. I found that for me personally the only way I was able to get out of this slump was to exercise. Get up in the morning…well more realistically around noon, and exercise. It made me feel great, my mood was uplifted and I felt like I could tolerate the rest of the day being awake just fine. Soon I was doing things I enjoyed again, especially hiking. Don’t get me wrong it’d be pretty difficult every morning to get out of bed. I knew though that I’d feel a lot better if I got up and did something active. So that’s what I would do.
I have gotten myself into this hole time and time again. But I’ve realized that if I can motivate myself enough to get up in the morning and exercise, that I will be a genuinely happier person, and that’s what I want to be.